{"id":216,"date":"2018-11-19T23:48:50","date_gmt":"2018-11-19T23:48:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/wordpress.susqu.edu\/podcast\/?p=216"},"modified":"2018-11-19T23:48:50","modified_gmt":"2018-11-19T23:48:50","slug":"audio-bio-kristina-crunchy-seavey","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/me-us-u.org\/?p=216","title":{"rendered":"Audio Bio: Kristina &#8220;Crunchy&#8221; Seavey"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/w.soundcloud.com\/player\/?url=https%3A\/\/api.soundcloud.com\/tracks\/532421892&amp;color=%23ff5500&amp;inverse=false&amp;auto_play=false&amp;show_user=true\" width=\"100%\" height=\"20\" frameborder=\"no\" scrolling=\"no\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_105\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-105\" style=\"width: 300px\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-105\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/wordpress.susqu.edu\/podcast\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/125\/2018\/11\/Name-Photo-for-Website_seaveyk_attempt_2018-10-24-11-31-03_IMG_3555-300x225.jpg?resize=300%2C225\" alt=\"Kristina sitting in a tree\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-105\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Kristina &#8220;Crunchy&#8221;<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>[groovy electric guitar intro, fading to a lower volume]<span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233279&quot;:true,&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559731&quot;:720,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:480}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>When I was 15, I ran over a moose.\u00a0<span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233279&quot;:true,&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559731&quot;:720,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:480}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>[moose bellow]<span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233279&quot;:true,&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559731&quot;:720,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:480}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>It had already been hit by another car way up ahead of me, so it was just lying there on the ground across the entire lane. It had been nighttime in upstate New Hampshire. My parents and I had been coming home after visiting a college, and my mom and dad decided I should practice driving some more, because my 16<span data-fontsize=\"12\">th<\/span>\u00a0birthday was right around the corner. Little did we know that a moose was also right around the corner.\u00a0<span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233279&quot;:true,&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559731&quot;:720,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:480}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Everyone was fine! No one got hurt, and my dad\u2019s pick-up somehow survived. But\u00a0yeah\u00a0I hit that moose going 70 miles per hour. And because we were higher off the ground than a sedan would\u2019ve been\u2014and because the animal was already lying dead on the ground\u2014we hit that baby like a launch pad. It just hurled us up into the air like a massive speedbump, all 4 tires off the ground, and then we just came back down with\u00a0one\u00a0big jolt. Really no different than sitting in the back of a school bus and hitting a giant frost heave. Speaking of which, I saw a moose at the bus stop once. It just came out of the woods a couple houses down, crossed the street, and then disappeared into someone\u2019s backyard. I\u2019d like to point out that this happened\u00a0<i>before<\/i>\u00a0my traumatic moose hit-and-run, so when I saw it at the bus stop, I was\u00a0actually blown\u00a0away. I had\u00a0never seen a moose before, and I didn\u2019t realize how unnecessarily huge they\u00a0were. They just don\u2019t look natural.\u00a0<span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233279&quot;:true,&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559731&quot;:720,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:480}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>[groovy electric guitar fades out, electric piano fades in and then fades to lower volume]<span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233279&quot;:true,&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559731&quot;:720,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:480}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Hey everyone, my name\u2019s Crunchy.\u00a0<span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233279&quot;:true,&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559731&quot;:720,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:480}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>[crunching\u00a0sound]<span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233279&quot;:true,&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559731&quot;:720,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:480}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>My friends call me that because of the one time I said I preferred real maple syrup over that fake Aunt Jemima bullshit. I just grew up on Grade A, glass bottled syrup, so that\u2019s what I know and that\u2019s what I\u2019m used to. Urban dictionary defines \u201ccrunchy\u201d in a variety of ways, but most of them boil down to a\u00a0modern-day\u00a0hippie who enjoys walking barefoot in the woods, the smell of patchouli, and shopping at Whole Foods. The only place I\u2019m ever barefoot is my bed,\u00a0and\u00a0I don\u2019t even know what patchouli smells like and I don\u2019t want to find out, and what kind of broke ass college student can afford Whole Foods?\u00a0Crunchy people may also be additionally, but not exclusively categorized as, vegetarians. I\u2019m not a vegetarian. I\u2019m a pescatarian. There\u2019s a difference. But my friends don\u2019t care. Suddenly you do one thing that\u2019s different and pseudo-boujee\u00a0and the next thing you know, your friends think you\u2019re a vegan tree-hugger. It\u2019s fine though, I\u2019ve never had a nickname before, and it\u2019s\u00a0kinda\u00a0funny so I\u2019ll take it.\u00a0<span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233279&quot;:true,&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559731&quot;:720,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:480}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>I asked my friend from back home why she thought I was crunchy. She texted back, \u201cYou don\u2019t have a microwave.\u201d<span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233279&quot;:true,&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559731&quot;:720,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:480}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>[microwave beep]<span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233279&quot;:true,&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559731&quot;:720,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:480}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u201cNeed I say more.\u201d\u00a0<span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233279&quot;:true,&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559731&quot;:720,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:480}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>[microwave door opening and closing]<span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233279&quot;:true,&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559731&quot;:720,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:480}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>She\u2019s got me there. Whenever my parents and I\u00a0have to\u00a0heat up leftovers, it\u2019s on the stove. But usually we don\u2019t have leftovers because mama didn\u2019t raise no weak ass bitch.\u00a0<span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233279&quot;:true,&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559731&quot;:720,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:480}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>So\u00a0call me hippie\u00a0dippie\u00a0crunchy granola if you want. But Crunchy is much\u00a0faster.\u00a0<span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233279&quot;:true,&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559731&quot;:720,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:480}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>[electric piano increases in volume and plays for a few seconds before fading out]<span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233279&quot;:true,&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559731&quot;:720,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:480}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>[groovy electric guitar intro, fading to a lower volume]\u00a0 When I was 15, I ran over a moose.\u00a0\u00a0 [moose bellow]\u00a0 It had already been hit by another car way up ahead of me, so it was just lying there on the ground across the entire lane. It had been nighttime in upstate New Hampshire. My [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[3],"tags":[7,34,41,48,55],"class_list":["post-216","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-audio-bio","tag-audio-bio","tag-growing-up","tag-labels","tag-meet-the-team","tag-personality","missing-thumbnail"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/me-us-u.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/216","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/me-us-u.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/me-us-u.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/me-us-u.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/me-us-u.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=216"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/me-us-u.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/216\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/me-us-u.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=216"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/me-us-u.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=216"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/me-us-u.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=216"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}